Secret Words to Get a Second Date With Japanese

If you’ve met a Japanese girl/boy or even woman/man and you want to have a second date with her/him… I think I can tell you the secret words to say at the end of the first date.

“Can I see you again?”

If she/he says nothing, or “No” very directly, which is a very rare case with the Japanese, the secret words that I’m now telling you will not work. You must have done something terrible to her/him. Normally, she/he will give you a subtle smile and will say yes even though she/he is not attracted to you so much.

Now is the turn for the secret words!

Practically, you should sing a song letting your pinky in front of her/his eyes.


If she/he entwines her/his pinky in yours, start to sing this song.



If you are Otaku, I think you’re already familiar to this cute song with a gesture and I don’t think I have to teach you anything. But just in case, I’ll teach you this song one word for one word. It goes;

ゆびきり げんまん うそついたら はりせんぼん のます ゆびきった


(In this video there is a word のむよ between のます and ゆびきった, which you can skip.)


ゆび YUBI = finger
きり KIRI = cut
げん GEN = punch
まん MAN = ten thousand

うそついたら USO TSUITARA = in case you lie
はり HARI = needle
せんぼん SENBON = thousand
のます NOMASU = I’ll make you swallow

ゆび YUBI = finger
きった KITTA = have cut


I think you’ve already understand what this cute song really means.


I’ll cut my pinky, in case you lie, you will get ten thousands of punches and I will let you swallow a thousand of needles. I’ve now cut my pinky.


This song may remind you of a Quentin Tarantino’s film but this is originated by the custom in pleasure districts, Yukaku. This tradition in Yukaku was passed to ordinary people and even to kids.


Oiran by Yoshitoshi
Photo from National Diet Library Digital Collections


oiran by kunisada

oiran by Kunisada
Photo from Ukiyo-e Search

In Yukaku, Oiran cut her pinky and gave it to the one who she really was in love with to show her devotion to him. Of course, there were some Oirans who really did it but I heard that, in many cases, they sent a pinky shaped figures made of rice-flour dough in an elegant wooden (maybe Paulownia) box as one of the ceremonies. Oirans had only two pinkies just like us. If she could not have two patrons only in her life, her business could have been slow.


* notice: with consideration to children under 16, I put a photo of a spoon instead of a pinky in terms of self-regulation


I guess many of you are not satisfied with the ideas that women had to swear their devotion to men, I mean why they had to be “Proverbs 31 woman“? But I heard that the situation was absolutely opposite.


In Yukaku, if a man wanted to have a special relationship with Oiran, he had to visit her at least three times. Each visit costed him a fortune even if he did nothing but drank sake with her and Oiran had a right to say no at any time if she didn’t like him. After he reached the point that he had wanted to, he became her “official patron” and he was obliged to be faithful to her, of course in Yukaku. If he would visit another woman and he got witnessed by anyone, he would get beaten up, I mean he would receive thousands of punches by guardians of Yukaku in public. That was the law of Yukaku, which was much severer than that of the ordinary world. While, normal wives could not say a word for their husbands’ faithfulness. That must have been one of the reasons that Oirans were admired by ordinary women. In fact, many Ukiyo-e artists drew Oirans and their works were recognized as fashion magazines or portraits and were bought by women, too.

An Oiran was not just an easy whore and Yukaku was not a normal redlight district. Otherwise, the custom of Yukaku would never been passed to kids of ordinary houses or Oirans were not recognized as celebrities.

Back to the main topic, if you can sing that song well, I can swear with a pinky promise with you that you will receive an affirmative answer, at least in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But I’m afraid I cannot guarantee the third…


P.S. To avoid misunderstanding… I would like to add that this song does not include any violent thoughts!! I used to sing this song when I was a kid without knowing the exact meaning. Especially, I think many Japanese people don’t know what the word “GENMAN” means. Neither did I! So please refrain from putting the song lyrics into action even if she/he canceled the second date with you…

にほんブログ村 歴史ブログ 日本の伝統・文化へ
にほんブログ村 英語ブログ 英語の日記(和英併記)へ


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